Golden Forever [Frostbite Falls Christmas 3] (Siren Publishing Menage Amour) Read online

  Before she could take another breath, Jasper grabbed her arm and jerked hard, forcing her to face him or risk losing the appendage altogether. “Is that really what you think, sweetheart?” His eyes stared into hers, setting her off-kilter. “You think we don’t want you?”

  They looked as haggard as she felt. Their eyes rimmed in red, their hair disheveled. They hadn’t even bothered to shave. Both their faces covered with the light scruff of a day’s worth of growth. The sight almost had her rethinking her stance.

  Maybe she was wrong? Maybe letting them go hadn’t been for the best? But she forced the thought from her mind. It might hurt at first, but this was for the best. She knew it.

  His strong hand on her arm set a quiver through her muscles, shaking her to the core in a way that she shouldn’t feel toward her best friend. Certainly not if she wanted to remain friends. But her stupid body didn’t stop reacting to him. Her skin tingled beneath his touch.

  None of which would make getting back to normal easy, if possible.

  Jasper cupped his hand around her face, forcing her chin up and her eyes to meet his. “That couldn’t be further from the truth, Riley.”

  She tried to step back from his touch, but her damn feet refused to move. “You don’t have to say stuff like that, just because…” She let the words trail off, not sure what to call last night.

  “Because we made love.” Logan finished her sentence, not at all the way she wanted. Though the only words she’d been able to think of were amazing and earth-shattering. So Logan’s description worked as well as anything she’d been about to say. Which is why she hadn’t said it.

  “You don’t have to have to say that just because of what happened last night. I’m a big girl. I can handle the truth.” Even if it broke her heart, she would survive it. She knew that.

  “And what if it is the truth? What if we really do want you?” Logan’s voice sounded closer, as if he’d moved within reaching distance. The idea of him touching her at the same time that Jasper did was too much for her to bear.

  Couldn’t they see she was doing this for them? For all of them? She turned them away so they could be friends again. So they could move past all this insanity. She needed that hope. She needed that possibility. She couldn’t survive without it.

  But they just kept pushing. Shoving her past what little reserve she had left. Her emotions were all a jumble, her exhaustion making it harder to sort through them. All she could think was she needed them to stop. She needed this to end now. Before they said something that couldn’t be taken back. Or that her stupid heart wouldn’t forgive.

  “I can’t be that person for you. I can’t be that girl.” She took a step back—her feet finally listening—and placed some space between herself and their warmth. “That girl, that dresses up in nice clothes. In fancy dresses and high heels. The girl that always looks perfect, and smells good. That wears makeup.”

  She’d come to grips with the truth of who she was a long time ago. She wasn’t a girly girl like Victoria, and she never would be. And that was okay. She loved the life she had. She wouldn’t change it for anyone. Not even Jasper and Logan. If she did, she’d only end up unhappy, and hating them in the long run.

  “This is who I am.” She motioned toward her plain denim shirt, jeans, and cowboy boots. Not a stitch of makeup on her face. The exact opposite of how she’d been dressed last night. “I wear ratty jeans, big flannel shirts, and work boots all day long. I smell like sheep shit and hay more often than not. I can’t change it. I don’t want to.”

  “Why do you think we want you to change who you are?” Jasper’s big brown eyes stared at her in shock, his mouth hanging open a touch.

  “We’ve always liked who you are,” Logan added from her other side.

  Their words sounded so good. But words were simple. Their actions told a different story. A story she knew so well she could sing the chorus.

  “I’m sure you do. As a buddy, as a pal—”

  “No,” Jasper and Logan corrected so quickly she could only glare at them.

  “We’re not just friends anymore, sweetheart.” Jasper clasped her waist in his hot hand, tugging her a fraction closer. Close enough she could smell the masculine scent radiating off his skin. “Not after last night. I would think you know that.”

  She did. She could feel it in every inch of her body. But she had no idea what they were now. Were they lovers? A couple? A triple really? Is that what they wanted? Was that even possible?

  “I’ve met the women you dated. I know what you two go for. I’m nothing like them.” She hated the raw feeling that started in the neighborhood of her throat and slid down. The desperate whine in her voice. The pricking in her eyes that said tears weren’t far away. She was stronger than this. She was a rancher. She was a Willis. She wasn’t some weak-kneed girl who would fall to pieces over a guy. Even the perfect guy. Or guys.

  “I don’t know about that.” Jasper’s voice drifted off, as if he were thinking through what she’d said.

  She glared up at them, some of her anger returning to her. “Really, what about Gigi?”

  They looked down sheepishly, and she wished that made her feel better. But it didn’t. It only made her feel worse. Somehow, having the truth out there, standing naked and raw before them all, made it more real. And more painful.

  “Gigi was a mistake. And one I won’t make again,” Logan spit out between clenched jaws, the funny, easygoing boy she was used to absent. Which scared her a little more than she admitted. Not because she was scared of Logan, but because he took so little seriously. If he was taking this seriously, it must mean a lot to him. Far more than she was ready to admit.

  “We won’t make,” Jasper corrected with a glance to Logan. Showing a united front. That they were in this together. In every way, even blame.

  “We won’t lie to you, sweet girl.” Logan brushed his fingers through her hair, turning her head slightly toward him. “You’re right. We didn’t think of you that way before. Not until last night.”

  “It’s not that we didn’t see you as attractive.” Jasper shifted an inch closer, settling all the nerves on her skin closest to him jittering with anticipation. “We just didn’t see you that way at all.”

  Is that any better? So they hadn’t thought about her as ugly, she’d just been invisible. Both options sounded pretty damn awful.

  “We were idiots. We didn’t see the truth right smack in front of us. But after last night, we can’t see you as anything but beautiful.” Logan twisted a lock of hair, which had fallen free from her ponytail, behind her ear. “Even here in this barn with manure around us, I’m more turned on then I can ever remember. And that’s all for you. Ragged jeans, work boots, and all.”

  God, it would be so nice to believe them. She almost wished she was one of those naive foolish girls they usually dated, who would fall at their feet after a few pretty words. But she knew better. Nothing was ever that simple. Life didn’t work that way.

  “It’s just residual lust, left over from last night. It will fade.”

  “No, it won’t.” Jasper’s voice was so resolute she almost believed him, at least until his next words. “We love you, sweetheart. That isn’t going to change or fade or disappear. We aren’t going anywhere.”

  Her eyes flooded with tears. Just the sound of that word had sobs racking her body. She covered her mouth, hoping to stifle the sound, but knew she failed. “You can’t.” The sound came out closer to a croak than a word. “Please don’t.”

  They couldn’t love her. It was too much. A one-night stand with her best friends, she could figure a way around that. But love, she couldn’t see her way past that.

  Jasper wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. Logan shuffled around to cover her back, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck. Their warmth surrounded her, enveloping her, attempting to push the world away. “Why, sweetheart? Why can’t we love you? You’re the most amazing woman we know,” Jasper whispered in her
ear, his voice so confident she almost believed him. Almost.

  “You’re the only girl that can appreciate ranching with us. That can understand why we love this crazy wild land. Or that can beat Jasper at Scrabble.” Logan nibbled on her ear, teasing her in more ways than one. “Those aren’t traits you can find just anywhere.”

  He was right. Those weren’t traits everyone had. Which was why they got along so well, why they’d been friends forever, and why it would hurt a hundred times more to lose them. “You’re my best friends. What happens when it falls apart?”

  “Who says it’s going to fall apart?” Jasper’s stern gaze left her no space to escape the demand in his chocolate eyes.

  “It always does. Eventually.” People always left. That’s just how life worked. She’d learned that a long time ago, and she’d never forgotten it.

  “I’ll admit, sweetheart, neither of us have a stellar reputation for long-term relationships.” That was putting it mildly. Between the two of them the longest relationship they’d managed was a month, if that. “But this is different. You aren’t just any girl. You’re more important than any other woman we’ve been with.”

  That had her heart beating a little faster. It certainly made up for the previous genderless nothing comment they’d made.

  “We’ve never been in love before. We know it will be hard, but we’re determined to make this work. We want you in our lives. No matter what.”

  The sincerity in Jasper’s eyes almost had her believing him. That maybe this could work. They could all be happy. But was that possible? For anyone, let alone three people together in a relationship?

  “Our lives aren’t complete without you.” Logan’s warm breath puffed against her neck, but it was nothing compared to the warmth his words created in her heart.

  She nodded. The same was true for her. And after last night, her need for them was only stronger. But that also made this all so much scarier. If something happened, if it didn’t work out, she wasn’t sure how she’d survive.

  “But is that enough?” She hated the frightened sound of her voice, but she couldn’t hide it from them now. Not when they were being so honest with her.

  “It will be.” Jasper kissed her crown, the gesture so sweet she almost wanted to cry. “We’ll make sure it is.” His voice was strong and sure, unlike hers. It was almost enough to hold on to in itself. That it all might be okay, if they believed it.

  “Besides,” Logan whispered in her ear, “did you ever think, maybe, the reason it never worked with any of those other girls, is that they weren’t the kind of girls we really wanted? That the whole time we were with them, we really wanted to be with you?”

  She shook her head. “No. I never thought of that.” But he made an excellent point. It also might explain why she’d never found anyone either.

  “I think we might have been waiting for you this whole time.” Jasper caressed her jaw, and she leaned into his touch, enjoying each sweep of his fingers against her skin.

  “We’re not her, sweet girl,” Logan whispered in her ear, his insight pinning her to the ground. “We would never leave you.”

  “I know that.” She nodded even as sobs bubbled from her, springing from a place so deep inside she hardly knew it existed. Logan and Jasper were dependable, and loyal and steadfast. They were her rocks in a storm. They were nothing like her mother. She knew that, with every fiber of her being.

  They’d always been there for her. She’d trusted them her whole life, with every secret and insecurity she’d had since she was seven years old. Why couldn’t she trust them with her heart, as well? If twenty years of friendship didn’t earn that, she might as well close up shop and adopt fifteen cats today. If Jasper and Logan weren’t worth it, no one would ever be.

  “Give us a chance, Riley. Let’s see how good this can be.” Jasper traced a finger across her cheek. Her skin tingled beneath his touch, but it was the heat in his eyes that did her in. It wasn’t the pure unadulterated fire of last night, built out of longing and need. That was something else, too. Something deeper in his brown eyes that she was afraid to name even though she was sure she already knew what it was.

  “I want to. I really do.” She tangled her fingers in his shirt, killing two birds with one stone. Finding something to do with her nervous hands, and touching him. “I’m just scared.”

  Jasper nodded. “I know. We are, too.”

  Logan rested his chin on her shoulder, tightening his arms around her middle. She leaned into his strength, loving his confidence. “But we wouldn’t let fear stop us from having something amazing. If we gave up every time we were scared we’d never have our ranch. We’d never have you.”

  Far from a philosopher, those might be the wisest words Logan had ever said. Yet they held true. Only cowards ran from fear. Only cowards ignored happiness to stay safe. Riley might be a lot of things, but she was no coward.

  “Let us in, Riley. We’ll do everything we can to protect you, to take care of you. Between the three of us, we can make this work. I’m sure of it.”

  She was hardly even aware she’d decided before her head dipped in a nod. Yet it felt so right she almost wanted to whoop at the top of her lungs. The biggest smile she’d ever seen spread across Jasper’s face.

  Her knees knocked against his as he tugged her closer. He whispered a thank-you against her lips, before pressing his mouth to hers. His kiss instantly deep and drugging. His tongue slid across her lips, seeking entrance, and she opened eagerly. Her shaky fingers digging in his jacket at the shoulders. When his tongue found hers, her knees threatened to collapse, and only Logan’s hold around her hips kept her upright.

  Just when she thought she might have control over her body again—except for her knees that were still shaking and her stomach that was dancing a funky jig, but that was to be expected when having the daylights kissed out of you—Logan skimmed his hands up her chest to cup both her breasts. And what little control she’d managed to capture vanished. She fought for breath as he licked a line up her throat, kneading her breasts until she moaned.

  An answering growl echoed through the kiss, as Jasper insinuated his thigh between her legs, applying a light pressure against the junction between. Stars danced before her eyes. The hard bulge of his cock pressed against her stomach, creating an echoing heat that fizzled through her blood and threatened to overheat her entire system.

  With both their hands on her body, their lips on her skin, the truth was undeniable. Even to her, who’d fought it tooth and nail, she couldn’t argue any longer. They were meant to be together. They always had been. And come hell or high water, they’d do anything in their power to make this work. One way or another.

  She pulled back from them, hating the distance but needing the small space to convey what they meant to her. After all her fighting, all her running, she could only think of one way to convince them she was in for good. That she wanted them forever. That it happened to be what she wanted more than her next breath was an added bonus.

  Wrapping one arm around Jasper, she twisted the other behind her back to capture Logan. She looked up into Jasper’s deep eyes, trying to convey all the desire she felt for them, all the love she wanted to give them, in the one look. And four very important words.

  “I want you both. Right now.”

  Chapter Nine

  Both men froze around her, their eyes widening. She’d never get sick of putting that look on their faces. She’d loved shocking them as a kid, when they dared her to jump over Westmore Creek, or to ride the fastest horse in the barn. And she loved it even more now. Now that she’d opened up a whole new set of ways to shock the hell out of them.

  “Do you mean what I think you mean?” Logan traced the seam of her shirt, tickling over ribs and along her hip.

  “Yes. I want you both, together. Now.” Now was the most important part.

  It was impossible to believe in the barn, in the dead of December, she could be burning alive. But she was. She was on fire for
them, and there was only one way to put out the blaze. The two of them, holding her together, kissing her together, ravishing her together. If they didn’t fuck her soon, she might take the whole barn down with her. She couldn’t let that happen. Not to the poor sheep. That left only one alternative. Let her two best friends fuck her together, right here on the barn floor.

  It was the only humane thing to do.

  “Are you sure about this?” Jasper’s eyes stared into hers, silent but sure. Yet the jittery energy in his touch conveyed a truth he’d never say. That he wanted it, too.

  “Yes. More sure than I ever have been.” If they were going to do this, they were going to do it all the way. If she had to stomach the possibility of losing them, she planned to embrace every bit of the pleasure they offered. This seemed the perfect place to start.

  “It’s cold in here, sweetheart, and nowhere near as romantic as we planned for next time.” Logan caressed her hip, shifting her an increment closer to the hard bulge nudging at her stomach. The war between his mind and his body evident in each touch and word.

  Having fought her own inner battle, she had a feeling how to help him with his own. Or at least help herself. Shifting her hips, she deliberately brushed against his hard cock, pulling a moan from him. His eyes rolling back in his head was all the response she needed to know she was winning the battle, if not the war.

  She placed quick fast kisses along his jaw. “I can’t think of a place more perfect for the three of us than a barn.”

  Logan laughed, his breath a hot puff against her skin. “If that doesn’t say you are the girl for us, I don’t know what does.” His hips ground against her backside, another hard cock pressing against her, giving her the barest glimpse of what she’d asked for. “Come on, buddy, we promised we’d take care of the girl. No matter what she needed.” He added a seductive turn to the last few words, sending a shiver down her spine.